6 Steps to Grow And Groom An Epic Beard

Like all truly great undertakings, growing a beard takes time and patience. Get ready for the agony and the ecstasy with these 6 tips!

1. Fight The Itch

The beginning stages of growing a beard can really make you crazy. Your face is hairy, itchy and covered with food. No? Maybe that's just me. Power through this awkward phase with comforting thoughts of the effect your biblical patriarch style will have on ladies. And dudes.

2. Be Cool

Don't screw your beard sideways by trimming too early or often. That’s not, just like, our opinion, man. It’s important to wait a few months before this step, even if you plan to keep it short. If you mess up your beard by shaping or trimming too early, it can take weeks or even months to fix. Wait until your beard is at least an inch long before shaping -- you’ll thank us later.

3. Know Your Limits

We all know that one older guy who is in deep denial over his hair loss and sports a sad, ain't-fooling-nobody comb-over as a result. Don't be that guy. We hate to break it to you, but not all men can grow beards (thanks, Obama). If you're still looking like Patches O’Houlihan after a couple months of growing, a beard might not be in the cards. Man up, shave it off, mourn your loss. Our condolences, bro.

4. Great Beard, Great Responsibility

Do we come to your job and smack the iPad out of your hand? No. So why are you trying to be a barber? Put down the razor before you ruin EVERYTHING. The most common mistake bearded men make is screwing up their neckline. Necklines make or break your beard, so listen up! That line should be where your head meets your neck; NOT your jawline. If you've already butchered your beard, trim everything a little shorter and grow it out again. Then, go see a pro. NO, NOT THAT KIND, A STYLIST. Remember, beards grow back fast, so have patience, be cool and soon your epic fail will be an epic beard.

5. Keep It Clean

Unless you're a leap forward in human evolution like Justin Trudeau, you probably have random weird hairs growing in places they shouldn't be. It's normal to see hairs appearing above the top line of beard growth but to stay looking GQ you need to keep that line clean. Let your natural growth line be your guide. Clean up above it, but don't stray too close or you’ll end up shaving one side lower than the other, leading to a series of unfortunate events ending with you, a sad and beardless man. Most people don’t notice lines that are a little uneven, so leave it alone. You'll have another chance to fix it in a few days.

6. Chopped ‘Stache

Let's say you're growing out a wicked Magnum P.I. 'stache. Beware! One wrong move with the trimmer and you could go from Tom Selleck to Tom Arnold. Unless you have the steady hands of a surgeon, slow your roll and trim carefully. If you're drunk, feeling impatient or rushed, DROP THE RAZOR.

Is it all too much? If all this seems overwhelming, we've got an easy solution for you. Go see a barber. Barbers (and barbershops) are cool, inexpensive and they make you look better. Treat yo' self! Anything in life worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards! So spend the extra time and money and before you know it you'll be sporting a chin curtain so glorious ladies will be trying to wear it like a dress.

← Older Post Newer Post →